Today I pet a dog.

Today I pet a dog.

Most life changing stories don’t begin with something as mundane as petting a dog, but this one just so happens to. On my way back home from going to the capital city to get away, exhausted and overburdened by dirty clothes and food, I spot a stray. Now, strays are fairly common here, and even dogs with families roam the streets. So, as usual, I do my best to ignore it and continue my waiting under the sweltering sun for my bus to arrive.

Maybe it was that I was already in a fragile point emotionally, as in the capital I witnessed a dog being run over. I’ve only seen the life leave a body, animal or otherwise, twice in my life in full detail… Chickens, pigs and the like are common… but I am only within earshot, no visuals. It was a terrifying experience, on both counts, and the instant surge of emotion left me completely drained. As the cold blood rushed back to my extremities, I passed the dog and whispered a silent prayer. Not for any religious significance, but out of respect and true animalistic sadness. Why did it have to die? But more importantly, why did it have to live in the streets in the first place?

With people irresponsibly taking ownership of pets and recklessly exploding the population, we are left with this. Hundreds of strays running wild, dying for the same reasons we would. Hunger, illness, attacks. They suffer through an anthropomorphized version of rape, and deal with verbal, physical and emotional abuse. They are constantly taught that love does not exist, and that pain and fear are the only ways to subsist.

When you live without love, the world truly becomes a dreary place. Without love, there is no conceivable way to be. Simply existing becomes a challenge; everything is confusing and even when someone reaches out to provide love… You push it away because you simply don’t understand.  You don’t know how nice a simple embrace, a touch and a genuine compassion feels. It is you, or them. A dog eat dog world.

So, I keep seeing the stray roaming around. This one is familiar. A pretty little brown lady covered with scars from surviving, scabs, bugs and distended nipples from the inevitable litter that she might have likely eaten to subsist. I often try to call her over while I’m waiting at the stop. Sure, petting a stray or an unknown dog at all is a bad idea… But I guess I was seeking to provide for her what I didn’t know I’ve been searching for all along. And usually she keeps away, and who could blame her… But today, it was different.

As I sat down, she shifted and moved around the gas station. Eventually, she came close to me. Closer than she’s ever done before. I tentatively extend my hand in the most peaceful form I can think of… Palm outstretched. She kept looking at my hand for a second, and very slowly came closer. The last couple of centimeters she stopped and took a step back, expecting a kick or a reprimand… But I kept on, not saying a word, but trying to convey in my five finger tips all the things I wanted to say. And then, just like that, she made contact.

My heart skipped a beat. She made her move, now it was time to make mine. I slowly begin to scratch her, being careful not to touch odd areas so she doesn’t accidentally nip at the foreign feelings. But, it was instant. She immediately relaxed, pulled her ears back and started putting pressure on my hands… Tail wagging, urging me on to keep going.

I was elated. All this time, and finally I made this connection that I’ve been searching for since I came to my community. And, as quick as it came, it went away. A gas station attendant shooed her away, thinking she was being an inconvenience. And, as she left with her tail between her legs, I worry that I might never get that chance again.

You see, we all need to feel loved. She came into this world for a purpose, and along the way… the people in charge forgot about her. I wonder just what her owners where thinking when they kicked her out… or when she just never came back. Did they worry? Did they search for her? Or, has she been raised her entire life in the streets? A product of another little lady like herself doomed to circumstance.

These and more are the things that I will never know. But one thing I do is that this experience was eye opening. As I previously hinted, I feel just like that stray might. I know I might have taken some liberties and a liberal dash of imagination, but those superimposed feelings where things that were completely foreign to me. I did not realize that I felt these things. I knew I was having a hard time, and I knew that going to spend time with friends made me feel better… But I never put two and two together.

So I’ve come to realize that, like the stray, I feel abandoned. Here, removed from those who care about me and surrounded by those who see me as no more than scenery, I feel devoid of love.

Before we go on, please be aware that I am happy. These feelings are entirely natural and many, volunteers or not, feel them from time to time. Truth be told, I’ve never felt happier. I never felt like I belonged… Like I really mattered… and not just because my family say so… And here, I feel like I might find that and more. The surfacing of these emotions is actually a long time coming and a truly liberating thing.

Emotions are a funny thing… You can feel complete opposites at the same time and it is not any stranger than feeling one at a time. And they spring up in the most interesting and odd places… Because, all I wanted to tell you guys is…

Today I pet a dog. 

Lets call this a blog post.

Sorry for the delay, I've been busy...? Excuses... How I missed thee!

Much has happened since I've left the US for Paraguay. The short of it is that I've grown as a human being. The long is currently a side project. A couple notable things/events.
1-Met a swell dude
2-Got stitches
3- Learned that I get to live in said swell dudes home once he leaves.
4- Decided to train a cow to be my steed

Peace corps is funny that way.. You build friendships with people who are destined to leave before/after you. It´s a cycle that I´m slowly learning to appreciate.

Training is fun, challenging and meaningful in my overall growth process. I learned way more than what was simply taught. The training sessions were conduits for personal growth. 

Guarani, the language spoken here aside from Spanish, is a fun mix of sounds that I´ve already made part of my day to day conversations. So, if we ever speak in person and you are unaware of Guarani… When I make a sound that sounds like  “eh…” it is not me being apathetic. In Guarani, it means “Yes”. So if you ask “Do you like my Pilaf?” I promise I will!  

Yum...? (Never had Pilaf, so I´m simply assuming it´s delicious)

I want to say I came with 0 expectations, but hard As I tried... I realize I secretly had some.  I am pleased to announce that everything I expected (and hoped) did not come true. I am pleased because two months ago that would have mattered. Now it doesn't. If that is 2 months, imagine 2 years!

Now, I need your involvement in this blog. I want it to be a product of a group effort. If you want more posts, you need to ask. Tell me what you want to know about and I will write about it.  With Language, Culture, Food, day to day activities and the odd random event, there is just way to much for me to encapsulate without at least some guidance... I like to talk (and by proxy, write)


 Otherwise, a more detailed explanation of what and how I'm doing will be available in my official unofficial autobiography, shipped with a complementary inflatable mandioca.

Ps: I'm not actually writing an autobiography.

Pps: Keep it classy!

Ppps: I am actually writing an autobiography.

In which you'd apply.

Well, howdy!

You might be concerned at the alarming rate of posting, but there’s actually a simple explanation. Most of the posts, at least until I leave for service, are pre-written. These involve general Peace Corps related things. However, this is not JUST a Peace Corps blog. This will be an amalgamation of how I feel, what I’m up to and other things I care about.

“BUT, I only want to read out the Peace Corps!” You might say, and to that… I give you this! All Peace Corps Related Posts have been sneakily coded. The titles are all similar, or at least they are for now. So, just look out for similar titles and that’s the Condensed Experience (as seen through me)! Read everything, If you want to... I guess… or whatever…

This post entails the application process! If you thought all you needed to do to join the Peace Corps is be willing to serve, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. The application process, while not exactly difficult or challenging comes before that. The online application itself is quite extensive, covering pretty much everything that might be relevant. Medical, criminal, scholastic and personal histories are all requested. This is because it is like any other application, akin to a college/graduate school application. If there are any suggestions for this part is to read all the instructions carefully… before, during and after, as you will need information and documents you might have not been aware of. Also, do your research. Like with any job application/interview, knowing what your potentially signing up for is important (and gives you an edge in the long run).

If you’re interested, the application is readily available online. I’ll try to remember to post statistics about the application process and such, so keep an eye out for that!

If memory serves me right, there is a waiting period of varying lengths (I think mine was about 3 months, emphasis on think and mine… Some may be longer/shorter). During this time, you’re expected to continue to look more and more appealing to your potential recruiter by volunteering or adding things to your resume.

 If you make the cut, you are contacted by a recruiter. He or she may request more information, and/or may schedule an interview. If you live close to a recruiting office (you’d know, since you did your research!), the interview may be in person. I don’t, so my interview was done via webcam. Treat it like any other interview… Dress professionally, have everything you need in hand and make sure you are in an area where you’ll be uninterrupted for at least an hour. I had copies (both hard and digital) of my resume and other pertinent information… such as my prior research highlights and a couple of interview questions for the inevitable “so, do you have any questions for me?”

After another short waiting period, you may be contacted with your initial invitation. This does not mean you are in, but merely that you moved on to the next step. Each step whittles down more and more applicants until you get the supposed “cream of the crop” in the end.

Next post will cover what happens after that! At this point, you are 1/3 of the way into getting your final invitation! Congrats!

I realize the amount of pictures in this post is entirely too low... So here's something punny:

Me and technology, a deeper connection than anticipated.

First of all, I want to give a huge shout-out to a certain someone who ensured that my toothbrush situation in Paraguay is taken care off. I can't begin to describe how meaningful that small act of kindness was to me. Thank you.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled entertainment!   

 ***

Things to do before I leave for my service in the Peace Corps:

-Pack

-Attend my “surprise” farewell party

-Pack

-Go to the Zoo

-Did I mention Pack??? There will be a post on packing... Boy will there, so hang tight for that!

-Find peace between me and technology

 

 ***

Me and technology… I have a very love hate relationship. We all know the benefits of technology. Hell, I couldn’t even transmit this to you if it wasn’t for technology. And before you say anything, I am referring to the common usage of the word “technology”… That is, things that use electricity. I know that a fire is technology, given that the definition (handily provided by Google, technology itself) is “The application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes, esp. in industry.” I want to focus on the newer technology. Namely Computers.

 

A rare example of new technology meeting newer technology to make even  newer technology!

A quick dive into my personal history will reveal that computers played a large role in pretty much everything in my life. My father was a computer doctor during my youth, and it was through computers that I learned to truly express myself. And not in the social recluse/mega attention seeking way... Well, okay... Kinda exactly like that… but also in an artistic way. 

 

Sooooooo high-technical! 

 Computers (and video games… which I’ll consider specialized computers for the sake of the non-existent argument) were my gateways to expression… I learned life lessons that I wouldn’t through computers and games… and when I got old enough to start learning lessons from reality and NOT from the Matrix, I turned to computers as an artistic medium. 

 

This isn't this blog encrypted, but we can pretend it is also for non-existent arguments sake.

The computer screen became my canvas, sometimes literally but most times metaphorically. It was (and still is) my museum, my playground and my concert hall. It is through this 16 inch screen that I have viewed the outside world. Which is why I’m giving them up… and why it’s so hard for me to do so.

 

When the screen is my canvas... this happens (so mediocre I insist on watermarking it so people refuse to use it)

In today’s society, it’s very easy to develop an internet addiction. I am confident I don’t have one, as one of the main qualities that an addiction must have is a negative impact on daily life… But, as someone can drink a six pack a day and TECHNICALLY not be an alcoholic... A similar thing may be said for technology. I consider a screen to be a security blanket of sorts. I know I’m not the only one who is more comfortable through keyboard than through their voice. The subconscious sense of detachment is simply liberating. And to me, it was freedom. I grew and evolved through it and found my sense of identity in part thanks to it. So, it can easily be said that part of me considers technology as a core component of who I am.  

 

Another group of individuals who consider technology as a core component of who they are.

While that may sound fine and dandy, nothing is without consequence. This heavy reliance in technology can leave many socially stunted, to the point that most social skills atrophy. And, like any proper illness, I can feel its grip on me. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to sever as much of technology as I can in the following years. Other than the occasional visit to the web to check up on family, friends and you (of course), I want to stop relying on technology as a source of entertainment, social interaction and distraction.  I want to be able to go to actual museums, to real playgrounds and to preform and listen to music in real concert halls. I want to feel and use real canvas, take real travels and have unfiltered and real social bonds that are not reliant on a screen being the glue.

 

"Cute Dress ;) *like*"

"Omg, Thankssss <3 #BargainShopping"

 This is one of my biggest personal goals and challenges in the Peace Corps. It would mean an almost complete re-construction of my being, but I’m looking forward to see how my service will impact me on a personal level. And I’m so happy you’ve decided to join me in the journey.  

Next post will most likely be about my experiences in Boy Scouts, to balance the equation out and show that I do get out and commune with nature.  

 

An accurate representation of what happens when I commune with nature,  except with more body hair and a Y chromosome

In which It's all about me, meme

Now, I’m going to try scheduling a post… We’ll see how well that works.

  Now, many of you might be wondering: “Hey, that Peace Corps thing sounds interesting…” And while some of you might leave it at that in a personal display of opinionated comedic irony, others will follow with something along the lines of “Tell me about the process, I not only expect it to be highly interesting but it will also prove useful if I myself decide to venture into something similar”. And to those of you, here is the series of posts for you! To others, feel free to click on the following link (as a matter of fact, I suggest you all do as well!)

Click Me, Pweeease

 

Okay, now that we’ve establish that we are (in fact) no strangers to love… We can move on!

To me, the Peace Corps Experience Started when I was a wee lad, still in my knickers….

How I feel when I use slang from a dialect/language outside my own

But, honestly, I do remember thinking about the Peace Corps since a very early age. I can’t quite piece the events together, but I remember sitting in the living room of a house while my parents watched a movie. In this movie, an attractive blonde woman tearfully hugged another attractive blonde woman.

Pictured: The pillowfight that invariably ensued

In the movie, the younger blonde was actually the daughter of the older one and she was joining the Peace Corps! That is my first memory of the organization I have committed my time to serving.  After that, I have no other vivid memory of even hearing about the organization until about sophomore year of college. I started showing some slight interest in making a difference outside of my immediate community one day during my then-usual overpriced bagel mocha combo. The Peace Corps didn’t even come up at this point either, but it does transition nicely by showing you WHY I ended up deciding to join.

Weaving a tapestry of word

Come end-of-junior/senior year, and I realized I was not ready for the cubicle farms. Now enters the Peace Corps! One day, while searching for options a professor of my college briefly mentions volunteering and teaching abroad. I then started doing research into it and found that teaching abroad was entirely out of my budgetary means, and also not what I had in mind. Cue finding the Peace Corps and reuniting with my long lost memory of childhood. It then dawned that this would be a wonderful alternative to immediately joining the workforce or further pursuing my education immediately after college.  

So, thinking I’d be incredibly under qualified, I applied as a masochistic joke to myself as I also handed in applications to my local mass-chain burgeria and a couple of colleges/internship options. Come my surprise when I got the proverbial call-back to the Peace Corps! (But not to the Burgeria, interestingly enough). And that was the story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down, And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air…

Erm, I mean… What the application process entails… In a FUTURE POST!

In which I explain and disclaim.

I’ve been having a very hard time deciding which route I want to take this blog in. As you might be aware, I am not the first (nor the last) person who will be blogging about their Peace Corps experience. As a matter of fact, there are many blog already out there that tackle a very similar breath of experiences to my own, there are blog posts about the exact same thing I am blogging about!

We all know that our experiences aren’t entirely universal, but at the same time we understand that there will be plenty of overlap. I’m sure there are only so many experiences to be had with a squatting toilet (More details on the matter in a future post!), but that doesn’t excuse my lack of detail about it.

Squating in the name of Science

You see, like a good research article, a good blog (in my opinion) should encompass the majority of your (my) experiences for the laymen. I should not have to expect you to do the hours of research I’ve done simply to understand some obscure facet of the Peace Corps experience.

That being said, I’ve come to the decision that I will (as those who came before me) create this blog with the implication that you have no idea what the Peace Corps experience is at all! I will also shorten the posts a bit for the original, to a target max of 500 words to increase readability. But don’t worry, I won’t condense stories and lose quality, I’ll simply post more to make up the difference!

So, with that out the way, expect future blog posts to chronicle the initial stages of the Peace Corps Process (as seen by me)... with the culmination of this prequel chapter being close to my target departure date. And, as always, if you have any questions feel free to ask them. I will try to answer them in future posts.

Now here's a picture of a baby polecat